By Leppy Pardalis
The BBC says the revival of Blankety Blank spells doom for on-demand rivals such as Amazon Prime, Netflix and NOW TV.
The corporation, funded by the £159 annual TV licence fee, recently announced that the gameshow, first seen on British screens in 1979, would be back following a Christmas special in which Bradley Walsh took on the presenter role previously held by Terry Wogan, Les Dawson and Lily Savage.
A BBC spokesperson said: “As we no longer give free TV licenses to the over-75s, and plan to haul them into court and have them fined and possibly jailed if they don’t cough up their pensions for us, the least we can do is offer them a programme they’re vaguely familiar with.
“And besides, it’s not just old people who’ll be clamouring to watch tired innuendo spouted by a roster of has-beens, never-weres, who-the-hell’s-thats and the occasional genuinely famous person doing it for the irony.
“We fully expect tens of millions of people aged from late teens upwards to be so enthralled by the programme that they’ll want to watch nothing else, and immediately cancel their subscriptions to services such as Netflix.
“Who needs the likes of Stranger Things, The Queen’s Gambit, After Life, The Crown, Bosch, The Man in the High Castle and Tiger King when you can listen to people off the British telly making slightly off-colour penis references?
“We’ll probably have no further need to send people from Capita to hammer on doors and haul the poverty-stricken and vulnerable in front of magistrates.”
The spokesperson added that Blankety Blank was a less risky option for producers than other successful BBC programmes such as Line of Duty.
“The beauty of it is that there’s no need to attend to tricky details,” he said.
“Coming up with a decent ending, for example.”