By Leppy Pardalis
Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer is determined to reverse his party’s ‘unnatural’ poll lead over the Tories, party sources say.
He has begun by defending the knighthood given to Tony Blair, the former Labour Prime Minister reviled by millions of people as a war criminal, and whose New Year honour has attracted a 500,000-signature petition demanding it is rescinded.
Sir Keir said in a radio interview that Blair, whose critics claim he is responsible for the deaths of at least hundreds of thousands of innocent people across the world, deserved his accolade.
A Labour spokesperson said: “Labour’s role is not to win elections, but rather to be in wretched, self-defeating opposition forever. Current polls suggest that many ordinary former Labour supporters who voted Conservative at the last election are returning to the Labour fold, and that simply cannot be allowed to happen.
“What better way of ensuring it doesn’t than to defend a man who sent hundreds of those ordinary people’s children, parents, siblings and friends to their deaths in a war that was never justified and should never have happened?
“A Labour leader pitched the country into a filthy war for which there was no moral or strategic purpose, a Labour leader presented a load of unsubstantiated, cobbled-together shit and nonsense as justification, a Labour leader helped to destabilise the entire region and a Labour leader helped to pave the way for Isis and its reign of terror. Keir, as current Labour leader, wants the entire nation to know he thinks that’s all just fine and dandy, and that the Labour leader responsible deserves a senior place in the country’s most noble order of chivalry.
“Keir is proud of Labour’s long-held traditions, and a tradition for the last 11 years has been not winning General Elections. In fact, the last time we won one was nearly 17 years ago, and even then we were on the way out.”
The spokesperson added that if spitting in the faces of all who had lost loved ones in the Iraq War were not enough to scupper Labour’s chances of being re-elected for at least the next decade or two, his spouting of platitudinous, meaningless bilge about building a new and better Britain, just like every other oily political snake-oil salesman, should finish the job nicely.