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Man who keeps banging on about 'freedom of speech' really just massive fucking arsehole - experts find

By Dawn Ob

“You can’t say anything nowadays,” moaned Terry Spanner, of Stockport, yesterday on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tik Tok and his blog on Reddit.

“I have been silenced,” Terry added on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tik Tok and his blog on Reddit.

“It’s all these politically correct, cancel culturing, snowflake, woke millennials who get so offended by anyone who disagrees with them. Every time I say anything they jump down my throat and call me a bigot just for saying bigotted things. But I tell it like it is and if they can’t handle it, I just block them all so they have no way to complain.”

A study has now been carried out by the Institute of Knowing Stuff based in Cambridge which has revealed that rather than being silenced, people like Terry have a louder voice than they have ever had before with a multitude of channels on which to now voice their opinions.

Professor Derek Wangernumber said: “It’s ironic really. The more Terry Spanner complains about being silenced, the louder his voice becomes. Okay, he might get blocked now and again by the medium he uses to express those views, but that’s only because he’s talking shit and every private company has a right to mediate what is said on their platform. That isn’t a freedom of speech issue but an issue of company policy.

“Our studies into this have only really confirmed that Terry has the freedom to say whatever the fuck he likes whilst the rest of the world has the freedom to react to whatever bollocks he’s spouting this week. What Terry is really complaining about is that he doesn’t want the rest of the world to have the freedom of speech to disagree with him. He really wants freedom from consequence.

“The conclusion of our study really just confirms that Terry is a massive fucking arsehole.”

On hearing the results of the study, Terry Spanner said via Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tik Tok and his blog on Reddit: “That study can’t say that. I will do everything I can to silence it from saying that and get it banned. How dare a study have the freedom of speech to criticise me. It must be silenced.”