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Man shocks Halloween party by not going as a Squid Game character

By Norman Smee

“It’s a bloody disgrace - he ought to be ashamed of himself,” said party organiser Hannah Golightly, who came as that red light-green light doll that shoots them all in the prison yard.

“What sort of arse would turn up to a Halloween Party and NOT come as a reference to the most recent cultural experience we all shared?” added fellow guest Marty Pockle, as he hugged a calming cup of hot tea in the back of a police van and removed his fencing mask with a triangle shape painted on it.

“Never in all my years of attending Halloween parties and ordering the latest bit of trend-seeking, single-use, throwaway zeitgeisty tat off Amazon Prime have I seen anything like it,” added Mr Pockle, as the police officers escorted disruptive party guest Zachary Freeman, 31, out of 14 Millbank Road, Slough, to a round of hearty cheers from the remaining guests, who were all dressed in teal or pink jumpsuits.

Earlier, Mr Freeman had entered the room to a collective gasp when he came dressed as the Tiger King.

“It was…just awful…” said a teary Ms Golightly, “I mean – the Tiger King? Jesus. If we’d have held this party in March 2020, then fine – but this is 2021, things are different now! I didn’t stay up all night making broken cookies to be met with THIS!

“He might has well have come in a Gareth Southgate waistcoat and sang ‘it’s coming home’ all night. It’s just not right to reference things from a few months back that were fantastically important at the time, but now everyone has forgotten about. What’s next? The 118 guys? Disgusting.”

As a result of his antisocial behaviour, Mr Freeman is expected to be sentenced to a lifetime ban from fancy dress events of any kind, and at least 24 months of social ghosting from his current circle of friends.