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Home Secretary Priti Patel diagnosed with rare case of late onset anti-racism

By Leppy Pardalis

Doctors say the Home Secretary is suffering from a little-known form of late onset anti-racism.

They were called in after Priti Patel condemned the racist thugs who erupted into abusive rage following England’s defeat by Italy in the Euro 2020 final.

This raised alarm bells among the elite medical experts who tend to many of the country’s most senior politicians.

One of them, Professor Bill Gull, said: “One has to remember that in the recent past Priti Patel has described taking the knee in mutual acknowledgement and condemnation of racism as mere gesture politics. Indeed, she has refused to condemn many of the same louts currently abusing football players on social media when they booed the squad for taking the knee.

“The Home Secretary has also recently been connected with a possible law-change which could see asylum-seekers consigned to a bleak island, disused oil rigs and other grim places.

“Obviously, late-onset anti-racism is not an unknown condition, but in the overwhelming majority of cases it involves the patient coming to the profound realisation that their previous beliefs, actions or both were wrong. Often the patient spends the rest of their life passionately doing all they can to make amends for wrongs they may have done.

“However, the Home Secretary’s symptoms suggest she has a particularly rare form of the condition in which the patient voices anti-racist sentiments without presenting any evidence that their core beliefs have changed in any way, shape or form.”
The professor stressed that research was in its infancy but said the condition might be brought on by trauma.

“The trauma of potentially damaging your career might do it,” he added. “Or maybe even the thought of facing some sort of legal action should the gutter filth you failed for so long to condemn bring deadly violence to our streets.”