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Surgeons admit defeat in operation to remove Nadine Dorries from Boris Johnson's Anus

Health

"I just like bananas and wanking in public," insists man in monkey pox false alarm

Health

Makers and sellers of shitty cheap food thank Government for its help

Health

Man who now has amazing abs having lived at the gym for five years still not made up for lack of personality

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Covid to find new job as social media influencer demanding free stuff in exchange for 'exposure'

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Ordinary people glad NHS website refers to 'poo' and 'pee' instead of complex medical terms such as 'faeces' and 'urine'

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Putin applies to be senior NHS Trust executive so he can kill babies with no fear of punishment

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Scientist to find cure for procrastination just as soon as she finishes alphabetising her CD collection

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Rees-Mogg proved correct as 163,000 covid dead found to have been made of fluff

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'Urm... nothing to see here,' says Government as covid surges across UK

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Wilko deeply sorry for being caught telling staff they could work if they had covid

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Shock as woman gets old

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Anti-vaxxers safe from newly revealed covid related brain changes as they do not have one

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Boris to celebrate end of England's covid restrictions by NOT having a party

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Original name of 'Living Safely with Covid' strategy was 'Dying Like Flies of Covid to Save Boris Johnson's Lying Arse'

Health

Sacked unvaccinated care workers win backing of National Union of Firefighters Who Like to Work While Doused in Petrol

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