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Van-Tam resignation welcomed by Tories as there is no place for truth or honour anywhere near Government

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Attempt to transplant Tory's heart into pig fails after pig's body rejects it

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Invading Russian soldiers turned back from Ukrainian border for not having proper covid paperwork

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Australia abolishes covid jabs in favour of just having people hold tennis racquet for a while

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'Try doing some research!' says anti-vaxxer who hadn't even been bothered to research the highly discredited source of their own misinformation

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Daily Mail desperately hoping for New Year celebrations to be banned so readers will have some bad news to enjoy

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Piers Corbyn and confused followers removed from Build-a-Bear shop after accusing staff of secretly running the world

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Grandparents start sweepstake as to which side of the family will give them Omicron this Christmas

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Tories say wearing a suit at a party protects from covid - but only if you're a Tory

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Red covid pill Molnupiravir found to pull people out of the Matrix

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Work from home edict leaves cats fearing they'll have to sleep on keyboards forever

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World Health Organisation meeting besieged by confused pensioners demanding Pinball Wizard and Substitute

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Boris Johnson calls on NHS vaccination staff to really earn that whopping three percent pay rise

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Matt Hancock's return to public life dismays millions who thought he was just some horrible dream they had months ago

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Top Tories to go around pissing on covid victims' graves and have done with it

Health

Covid variant Omicron revealed to be 'robot in disguise' which can transform into a speedboat

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