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Grown adult who regularly uses phrase 'nom-noms' wonders why nobody seems to respect him

By Leppy Pardalis

“I just have the feeling that I don’t get the respect I deserve here,” said bewildered junior local government office manager Mark Connors at his desk in Derby this morning.

Pausing to adjust his desk tidy, to which he attached a sticker bearing the message ‘Adulting is Hard’ on starting his new role earlier this year, Mr Connors added: “I have absolutely no idea why I get this feeling, and maybe I’m imagining it, but I could swear some of my colleagues look at me in a funny way sometimes.

“As the new person I made sure to try to fit in with the office culture, such as by always making sure to take my breaks at times when I won’t leave the place short-staffed. In fact, every day I still always make sure to ask, ‘Is it time for nom-noms yet?’ It’s weird though. Sometimes when I ask I could swear I see people from the corner of my eye doing a sort of physical cringe.

“A couple of weeks ago, just after I asked and was about to go for nom-noms, I turned around and saw my boss, Liz, with a look of what I can only describe as open-mouthed horror on her face. I asked her what was wrong but all she said was, ‘Oh, nothing - I was just thinking about an email I’ve got to send to the, err, accounts department.’

“Still, as I’ve said, I might be imagining it. I don’t want to dwell on it in case I get a hurt in my tummy after eating my non-noms.”