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Five of the best rooms to visit this weekend

It’s troubling times and it’s only natural that we would all want to take a break this weekend so we’ve listed the five best rooms that you could visit this weekend.

The Kitchen

A nirvana for foodies. The Kitchen has become a must-visit destination in the last few days. With cupboards galore and even a kettle, it’s perfect for whatever your needs from a quick snack, a cup of tea or even a full blown meal. Standing with the fridge open staring at food has become a real craze especially for home-workers. Things to do -

  1. Make washing hands into a pleasurable pastime by doing the washing up at the same time. But be warned you might need a longer song than ‘happy birthday’ to do this properly - we would suggest singing James Blunt’s debut studio album ‘Back to Bedlam’ in its entirety to get the full effect.
  2. The cutlery drawer is also a must draw this season. In this cornucupia of utensil delight you will find tools aplenty to help you pass the time. We would suggest the bottle opener to open the bottle of wine that you’ve been eagerly eyeing since the moment you woke up whilst ignoring that the clock on the wall only says 9am.
  3. A hugely popular night-spot is the area around the kettle. Try mixing your teas and coffees with that weird looking spirit that you found at the back of the cupboard that someone gave you from Latvia and always wondered what it tasted like. You never know you might even find a cure for premature baldness and be able to emerge into the world more hirsute than Michael Bolton in his heyday.


The Front Room

This secret getaway spot has always been popular with those in the know. It even goes by different names like The Living Room and The Lounge depending on your rank on the ‘pretentious’ scale. This is one room that is built for comfort with its comfy sofas, pets that sleep on the top of bookshelves and its star attraction - the television. Things to do -

  1. Watch with pleasure as your entire household descends into Lord of the Flies style chaos as every member of the family fights over the TV remote control. If you really want to have fun, take the batteries out and hide them thus creating your own lockdown Thunderdome.
  2. Make a den out of all the sofa cushions and refuse to come out even when everyone else wants to use the room. Start screaming hysterically any time anyone tries to take a way a cushion. You know, just for fun.


The Hallway

Slightly off the beaten track and not really used as a stopping off point, this is a delight of a room that tries so hard not to even be a room. Used as a major transport hub by the rest of the household it is perfect to watch the world go by. Things to do -

  1. Have fun as you try to make yourself comfortable. Laugh as your bones and muscles start to hurt from standing for too long knowing that even if you sit you would still not be comfortable.
  2. Play ‘the getting in other people’s way’ game. This can be very fun as you just can’t seem to get out of other people’s way in this narrow corridor. Add a danger element to this by deliberately getting in the way of people carrying hot tea.


The Bedroom

The most glamorous of destinations. We would recommend visiting the bed with its mattresses that are built for comfort and the wardrobe which is a must stop for fashion aficionados. Definitely the place to go for all you ‘sleep’ hipsters. Things to do -

  1. If you’re lucky enough to be in a couple play the ‘nicking all the duvet’ game. This game will give you fits of giggles throughout the night and won’t lead to a ‘break-up’ ... honest.
  2. Snore


The Toilet

If it’s solitude that you’re after this is the perfect destination. Spend as long as you can in this destination to really soak in the atmosphere. Listen as you hear the world outside your door descend into a warzone especially if they still haven’t found the remote control batteries that you hid earlier. Things to do -

  1. Have a shit.