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Politically-connected canines outraged after first 'animal OBE' goes to dog who actually deserves it

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UK’s red-top newspapers to be officially rebranded gammon-tops

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Carrie Symonds shares home barbering tips including wearing a blindfold and substituting wind-up comedy teeth for scissors

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Bombarded Yemeni civilians distraught after learning of Kanye and Kim's divorce

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Biden to wear live squirrel on head after sanity deemed dull following Trump Presidency

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"Ooh, we're really scared of you," Myanmar junta tells UN

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Senate Republicans demand posthumous retrial for Guy Fawkes

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Treasury shocked and stunned as landfill tax linked with explosion in fly tipping

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Wales decides against taking Stonehenge back after seeing how much English Heritage were charging for entry

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Robot dog testers fined after it leaves heaps of diodes in park

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Old hippy says Elon Musk Starship not as good as Elon Musk Airplane

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Tokyo Olympic organisers foster global unity by reminding world that every culture has silly, sexist old sods

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Kremlin hackers targeting Biden make desperate appeal for Betamax VCR and valve radio circuit diagrams

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Britons thank India and China for livening up dismal lockdown news agenda with possible World War Three

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Trump rejected for place in pantheon of demons as he's actually just horrible little man

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Latest Branson rocket terminates at Crewe, replaced by bus

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