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Emily Maitlis fields job offers from makers of online so-called nonce hunting videos

Features

Rageful Djokovic to throw racket at kangaroo after finally being declared 'out' by Australian umpires

Features

Burning greedy energy firm executives at the stake a good way of generating cheap heat for needy, study finds

Features

Horror authors clamour to produce script about people stuck in lift with Gove

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Human rights abuse confusion over Myanmar as human rights abuser jailed by human rights abusers

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Prince Andrew now able not only to sweat but also to crap himself, sources claim

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Shock as human revealed to have human body in candid paparazzi pix taken without human's knowledge

Features

Trump spends insurrection anniversary sitting in throne on beach, ordering tide not to come in

Features

Mail-order cracker mix-up means Bournemouth woman must post a dozen racist white men back to Mississippi

Features

Deluded last-minute Christmas wrapping husband declares it to be the worst form of torture known to man

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Indecency arrests over 'Deck the Halls' mix-up a pain in the nick, says New Zealand-born party planner

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Santa to boost mass belief in himself by having Boris Johnson say Father Christmas is not real

Features

Daily Mail desperately hoping for New Year celebrations to be banned so readers will have some bad news to enjoy

Features

Piers Corbyn and confused followers removed from Build-a-Bear shop after accusing staff of secretly running the world

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Beheaded Elf on the Shelf found with note saying 'Snitches get stitches and wind up in ditches'

Features

Grand Prix teams fight over championship result and who got most jelly and ice cream at post-race party

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