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Eagerly-awaited Prince Harry memoir rumoured to list achievements other than being born

By Leppy Pardalis

The literary world is agog with speculation as to the contents of the memoir currently being prepared by the Duke of Sussex.

According to insiders, it is a fair bet that the book will include more of the score-settling with his peculiar and dysfunctional family for which he has become best known of late. 

However, there are whispers of even more tantalising revelations, notably a roster of things Prince Harry has achieved which could not have been achieved by anybody else finding themselves in his station of life.

An unnamed high-ranking source in the literary world said: “This book is sure to be a real shocker - and certainly enough to take ordinary readers’ minds off mundane trivia such as whether they’ll lose their job because of covid, whether they’ll die of covid, whether they’ll end up being turfed our of their home by their landlord or mortgage company, whether their knackered car is going to squeak through its MOT, how they’re going to buy their kids’ next school uniforms, whether they’re going to spend their declining years in a bare bedsit with only a one-bar electric fire for company and so on.

“Those who buy the book will be left in no doubt that whatever minor privations they suffer, every day Prince Harry endures at that mansion in California is a hellish, agonising trial and torment beyond most people’s power of imagination.

“However, the most astonishing chapter of the book will list the countless things the Duke of Sussex has achieved which could not have been achieved by a person born into similar circumstances.

“This book is going to be the most amazing of the 21st century.”