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Burning greedy energy firm executives at the stake a good way of generating cheap heat for needy, study finds

Business

Wealthy care home bosses thank Tories for letting them continue exploiting desperate foreign workers

Business

100% of traffic to be made up of Amazon delivery vans by 2025 - Bezos promises

Business

Man in charge of delivering Brexit quits because it wasn't going to be shit enough for his liking as there weren't enough goats

Business

Rishi desperately flies back to UK from US to remind us all of the true meaning of Christmas - buying shit

Business

Blood of Amazon tornado dead to be added to firm's hand cream

Business

Company assures staff this year's Christmas Jumper Day won't descend into cannibalism like last year

Business

New IKEA UK student housing landlord range to include mouldy sofas, piss-stained mattresses and broken appliances

Business

New Aldi funeral business has checkout operators slide multiple coffins at high speed toward panicking pallbearers

Business

Amazon to buy drivers nappies with cash saved by banning VISA credit card transactions

Business

Mark Zuckerberg to be fitted with human-like emotions by 2029, sources reveal

Business

Anti-driving test driving instructors outraged to lose jobs

Business

French trawler crews assured that British waters will soon have enough brown trout for everybody

Business

'What the giggly fuck is Facebook up to now?' asks world

Business

New John Lewis commercial shows cynical advertising executive chasing and jumping all over bandwagon

Business

Jeff Bezos seeks officious and annoying astronaut to be security guard at planned orbiting industrial estate

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