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Boomerangs to make a comeback, industry expert confirms

By Livi Ngroom

An industry expert has confirmed that boomerangs will be making a comeback.

Jasmine Craft, who works for ‘Toys, Toys, and, You Guessed It, More Toys’, the organisation that represents the toy industry, said: “Boomerangs are a perennial and they will also make a comeback. There’s just no getting rid of them!

“Slinkys are going down though and Etch-A-Sketches are now a bit drawn out. But along with boomerangs, pogo sticks seem to be jumping back into our hearts again. Which is good!”

For a second, Jasmine stops her spiel, and looks around to make sure no-one else is listening in. Then she whispers: “I don’t exist you know. I was just created to beef up a satirical news story that really was just a one headline joke that didn’t merit a whole story underneath it.

“Even me saying this, is just a way that the flustered writer can flesh out the words a bit more to make it into a story so that you, the reader, could have something to actually read when you clicked through.

“I mean, how do you know, the reader, that you’re also not made up? That you are actually real and not just a figment of the imagination of some work-addled writer trying to fill a minimum wordcount before a deadline?”

Getting a hold of herself, Jasmine puts on her professional voice again.

“This year playgrounds are doing well but we’re not so sure of next year. But, you know, swings and roundabouts.”