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BBC Radio apologises after entire Parkhurst sex offender wing given presenter jobs

By Leppy Pardalis

“We’re very sorry about this and have put special safeguarding procedures in place to ensure nothing of the kind ever happens again,” said a BBC spokesperson earlier today.

“No, really,” he added. “This time we mean it.”

The corporation was commenting on the revelation that every inmate on the sex offender wing of Parkhurst Prison was given a presenting job, sprung from custody and driven in limousines to radio stations throughout the country at licence-payers’ expense.

The scandal, described by the BBC as an unfortunate oversight, came to light not long after a grubby nonce called John Caine became the latest former BBC presenter to be jailed for sexual offences. He attacked a teenager after promising the child behind-the-scenes access to a local radio station.

Caine joins a list of at least a dozen former BBC presenters convicted or accused of the most horrific offences against hundreds of vulnerable victims, many of them children and teenagers.

The BBC spokesperson said: “Clearly we recognise that the decision to employ a large group of ravening perverted psychopaths as radio presenters was incorrect. The decision to do so reflects the policies of the time, although we have yet to discover when exactly that time was.

“I can confirm that there were complaints, chiefly from people who recognised the ravening perverted psychopaths from news coverage of their cases, but in an unfortunate oversight these complaints were mistakenly placed at the bottom of a rubbish skip or in a big furnace rather than being acted upon.

“This was entirely due to human error and it would therefore be unfair and unjust to punish any serving or former BBC executive in any way, shape or form, or take so much a penny piece from the pensions to which licence fee payers contribute so generously on pain of being sent to prison.

“We are at least as sorry about this unfortunate matter as we were the last time one of our presenters was revealed to be a complete nonce whose filthy activities we utterly failed to spot or do anything about – and the time before that, the time before that, the time before that, the time before that and the time before that.”